#108 to live (with autophobia)

Have you ever woke up in the middle of the night, with sweats?
Then you brought yourself to the mirror, and behind you, you saw a shadowy figure. 
It's a demon, and it's you.

How many times has it been now?

To live in fear of myself, struggling with battles within.

In every night, two three, seven strokes even, 

and everytime I reached euphoria,

it quickly turns to disgust. 

In every smoke, in every sinful picture,

there it is, my demon. 

It conjures not only in nighttime,

but also in daylight.

For now, all I could do is to put all my strength,

to bow to the One.

To them, it might be fine, to live like this.

To reach stars after I've walked through the fogs,

to swim in milky galaxies.

As true it is, there's no edge of the outer space.

There'll be no end to my suffering.